Family Ties

When I was young, my whole family (mom & dad's side) lived within a 15 mile radius of my apartment in urban NY. When my mom, step-dad and I moved to the "sticks" back in 1979, everyone thought it was so far away. I know an hour ride is no big deal, but we were the ones that almost always went to see them, they rarely came to visit us. My dad lived an hour or so away at first, then he moved and it became a two hour ride. I went from seeing him every weekend, to every other. I understood and was never upset with him. I just looked forward to going to the mall to have Orange Julius with him, playing video games and talking about cars.

Anyway, now it's 2007 and I look at how my family is spread out all over the US. One of the reasons I am talking about this is because just this past weekend, we saw my aunt and uncle (both are like another set of parents to me and my older sister) who are moving to Illinois to be near my cousin, his wife and their two beautiful daughters (who moved there after college about 8 years ago). Just this past winter, my grandmother moved out of the only town that she knew for 90 years down to South Carolina with my dad. He & my step mother had moved there back in 2001 to retire along with my little sister and niece. My two brothers moved to California (one in 2000, and the other in 2003). My other cousin moved to SC over three years ago and now his mother lives there too (both are on the opposite side of the state from my dad). My wife's uncle lives in Oregon with his two kids. My in-laws even talk about moving to Florida someday (WAY too hot for me!) but again, that's what may be best for them and their wants and needs.

I do miss all these people and wish that my daughter and soon-to-be son Luke (yes, I just made that decision) knew their cousins a little better, but people can't live their lives to make everyone else around them happy. They need to do what's they feel is best for themselves. My kids will know my sister, two nephew's and brother-in-law (who I am very close with and live an hour away) very well. My daughter still knows who my dad is, and walks around my house holding my niece's picture saying her name. People being farther away will just make the time that we get to spend with them that much more precious. Plus it gives me a reason to see places in this country that I probably never would have gone to otherwise.

This post was stemmed from a totally separate issue that my close friend is going through in his relationship, but my mind works in strange ways. Basically all of this is about doing what makes you happy. Don't live your life pleasing everyone else but yourself or you'll just end up resenting the people that you're supposed to love.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.............