20 things that piss me off

My wife tagged me.............so here they are (in no particular order):

1. Traffic- Why does the flow of traffic always slow down when I go thru two particular towns on the highway on my way to work? Do people forget how to drive when they hit those towns?
2. When people complain about something over and over, but don’t ever try to change it. If you’re not going to do anything about it, shut the fuck up!!
3. Tolls on the Garden State Parkway – Just make me pay when I get on and when I get off………….not every seven miles!!!
4. People that stop walking and decide to carry on a conversation in the middle of a walkway. Move off to the side you assholes or I'll knock you over!!!
5. a. People that don’t wait until everyone that needs to get off an elevator does so before they try to push their sorry ass on!
   b. ……….AND while you’re at it………………PERSONAL SPACE PEOPLE!!
6. Bands that keep making music long after they’ve already began sucking!! THIS MEANS YOU AEROSMITH! Every song you release sounds the same as the other nine on the album! Give it up! If you want to tour, play Back in the Saddle, Dream On and whip out your Big 10 Inch all you want …………but stop with the “Crazy” and the “Cryin’” and the “Amazing”. ENOUGH! YOU ARE DONE! They're not the only ones, but I can't go on with this forever!
7. Women that are 5 foot nothing, with one kid who feel the need to drive Chevy Suburbans!! WHY?!?! You can’t even see over the steering wheel! “But we want to be safe!” SHUT - UP!! You’d be safer if you had a vehicle that you could actually drive without a phonebook under your ass!! Maybe you wouldn’t hit as many things!!
8. People that don’t appreciate help when it’s given. They just expect to be helped. THEN when you don’t give it to them anymore, they complain about you and think you’re being a jerk. How about if they payed attention to what was being shown to you the last 27 times I showed you, then you wouldn't need my help you shitter!!
9. Any group of people that thinks they are better than everyone else, because of their race, sexual preference, religion, financial status, country of origin, etc. We all breathe the same air! Just because someone works the counter at McDonald’s doesn’t give anyone the right to treat them like shit! Chances are, the reason they are putting someone else down is because of their own insecurities! Either that, or their spouse controls them to no end and they have no power over anything else!!
10. My lack of work space! How can the powers that be where I work think that four people in a 12’ x 12’ space (one in each corner) is productive?!?! My desk is only 18" deep and my computer takes up most of it! We’re all right on top of each other and can’t say or do anything without the other three knowing about it! Not to mention the guy on the other side of the 3 foot wall is about four feet from me!! It’s a damn good thing the people around me are all cool. Even so, we get on each others nerves sometimes!!
11. Why do people try to make me feel bad for not letting them give my daughter cake and icing? When my wife and I want to feed her cake, we’ll do it! NOT YOU!!!!
12. People that don’t realize that when you are driving up a mountain that you need to plan ahead for it and not decide that you want to accelerate after you’ve driven ¼ mile up the hill already!! You’re already screwed, and so am I because I’m behind you!!
13. Anyone that flashes their lights at you for you to move out of their way, when there’s 16 other cars ahead of you! Where do they think they are going?!?! AND the asshole in the front of the line who is driving 56 miles per hour next to the guy in the right lane doing 55 ½ miles per hour! *HINT – IT’S THE LONG SKINNY PEDAL ON THE RIGHT!!! PRESS HARDER ON IT*
14. Why are the people in this country so obsessed with actors and other famous people!?!? When you see them in a store, leave them alone!!! All they’re trying to do is go to have a nice dinner with their family!! They don’t need a swarm of people around them! “Can I take my picture with you?”; “Can you sign this for me?”; “Oh my God, I love you!!” Shut up and leave them alone!!
15. People that gossip about other people all day long! Mind you business and shut your mouth! If it doesn’t concern you, stay out of it!
16. Illegal Immigrants – If you want to be here, fill out all the forms, pay taxes and then I you can have a say in what happens here. Until then, stop complaining about how it’s unfair that you are not treated equally and don’t have the same rights. YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE! If so many of you don’t like how things are where you're from, why don’t you try to change them? How do you think America became a country? By just doing what the Queen of England said? NO! Another thing……and this goes for everyone……if you love it here, take that damn flag off your hood! No one cares where you’re from! Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of my Italian heritage, but I’m not waving the flag in everyone’s face!
17. Chain emails!! Especially the ones that say “Send this out to at least 10 people and see what happens”. Here’s a clue……………do you know what happens after you send it? NOTHING! But if you keep sending them to me, THEN something will happen! I’m going to kick your ass!!
18. Met fans that suddenly have something to brag about. I am not a stereotypical Yankees fan………..I don’t walk around saying how great the Yanks are and how every other team sucks, so why do they feel the need to bring up every time the Yanks lose? Do I walk up to them and say, “So, how does it feel to not have won a World Championship in 20 years?” and “Now you guys know that just because his name is Matsui doesn’t mean he’s as good as Hideki.”? NO! So shut the fuck up!
19. People that do nothing with their lives but live off everyone around them. At least attempt to contribute to society! GET A JOB!!! ANYTHING!!!
20. Finally……………..there seems to be a lot of people that feel the need to kiss my daughter on the lips!! SHE’S NINE MONTHS OLD!! I know she’s freaking adorable, but keep your lips off hers! ESPECIALLY when you just had a cigarette!!!! Use your brain people!!

Now I need a cigarette.................thanks babe.

Cars, Cars, and more cars

I decided that since I've posted about my family, movies and music previously, it was time to give another one of my passions a turn. One of my favorite things in the world (after my wife and daughter of course) is cars. I am a total freak with product knowledge. After high school I actually sold cars for about a year; Ford's Lincoln's, Mercury's, Pontiac's, Saab's, GMC trucks and...................YUGO'S!! Remember those? I had two different ones as demos. I beat the piss out of them. They handled like shit and weren't very comfortable, but when you're 19, they don't give you a brand new Saab 900 to drive around in! It was just cool for me to have access to my car and another one that I didn't have to pay for. Basically, I drove whichever one had more gas in it. My girlfriend at the time only got in the Yugo once, and that was because she has no other choice. She wasn't happy.

I also have a mechanics degree (which I never did anything with) and I worked for a major car manufacturer for almost seven years, which is where I met my wife (lets see if you can figure out which one by the cars I owned). That was cool. I also worked the Auto Show in NYC one year. So anyway that got me thinking about all the cars I've had. Get ready, here comes the list:

1. 1982 Plymouth Horizon (automatic - white) - wrecked this one after 3 1/2 weeks; oops!
2. 1980 Datsun 200SX coupe (5 speed - midnight blue) - was my dad's car for 10 years and I wrecked it after 10 days, and it wasn't even my fault!!
3. 1984 Oldsmobile Firenza GT hatchback (auto - white)
4. 1987 Nissan 200SX coupe (auto - red)
5. 1995 Nissan 240SX SE (auto - maroon)
6. 1994 Nissan Sentra XE 2 door (5 speed - gray)
7. 1998 Volvo S70 T5 (high pressure turbo - 5 speed - blue)
8. 1998 Volvo C70 coupe (high pressure turbo - auto - black)
9. 2000 Volvo S70 (auto - dark blue)
10. 2000 Volvo S70 SE (5 speed - white)
11. 2000 Volvo C70 (high pressure turbo - 5 speed - dark blue) I loved this car!!!
12. 2001 Ford Ranger XLT 4x4 extended cab (5 speed - black)
13. 2001 Ford Explorer Sport 4x4 (auto - maroon)
14. 2004 Volkswagen Jetta GLS 1.8T (5 speed - gray)

My all time favorite car is a black 1967 Chevy Camaro RS/SS, 396ci, 4 speed. If you don't know what this car looks like, click on the Camaro link above, or simply watch the 80's movie "Better Off Dead". I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have one, but I can still dream. I have no idea what my next car will be, but it definitely has to be bigger than the Jetta. I think it's going to be a truck again since I live in the mountains and can't get up my driveway when it snows!

So here's my questions:

1. What was your first car?
2. What do you drive now?
3. Do you have a dream car?

Who had time off?

So as I may have mentioned in the past, my in-laws are florists, and they had a huge wedding to deliver and set up on Saturday. They recruited my wife and I, along with my wife’s brother, cousin and his girlfriend. My wife goes into detail about this on her blog, so I won’t reiterate it. My day started at 6am when I woke up with the baby, left the house at 8:30am to go pick up the cargo van and didn't get home until 11:45pm. Needless to say, I’m sore. I give them a lot of credit for keeping the business going for about 30 years. It’s definitely not easy.

Sunday we went to my God-daughter Gia’s 1st birthday party. Of course it was raining, which everyone blamed on my wife and I. She was so cute. Of course we forgot our camera, so we missed getting shots of Allie and Gia playing with each other. Hopefully the other people there with cameras will share the pics so I can post them.

So all I can say is, can I have a day off now?

The Cannonball Run (1981)

So as you may have noticed, my blog has a slightly different look. My wife and I (mostly my wife) updated the design. I found the movie clips and she input it all into HTML. (Thanks Babe. *kiss*). So, now that I have more of an obvious reference to the movie “The Cannonball Run”, I think it’s time to try to explain my obsession with this movie.

I never saw this movie in the theater when it came out in 1981………..I was only 8 ½ and had no idea this movie existed. Thanks to the magic of cable TV and HBO, I became a huge fan of this movie and have been quoting it ever since. (I actually have an audio tape somewhere of me and a chidhood friend quoting the movie before our voices changed). I have always loved cars and anything having to do with cars since I was a kid, so this movie fit me perfectly. It’s all about “driving fast, staying out of trouble and having a good cover”. The comedy in this movie is obvious to most people, but there are certain references that only a freak like me would catch. For example, there are multiple references to the “Smokey and the Bandit” movies. Another ironic thing in this movie is that the character that is trying to prevent this “Sea to Shining Sea Trophy Memorial Dash” goes by the name of Arthur J. Foyt (played by George Furth)…………..which of course shortened is A.J. Foyt, who is one of the most famous and best Indy and NASCAR drivers in history.

OK, ok……….back to the actual movie. J.J. McClure (Burt Reynolds) is a racer that is going to take part in this illegal race from Connecticut to California along with his sidekick Victor Prinzim (Dom DeLuise), who has an inferiority complex and turns into Captain Chaos whenever he feels threatened. J.J. likes Victor but hates Chaos although he needs him because he drives so well. They’re trying to figure out what kind of car to drive until the get into a boating accident that lands them in an ambulance. Once they see how fast they get thru the traffic, they know they’ve found their vehicle for the race. (The ambulance that they use in the movie actually was run in the real Cannonball by writer Brock Yates and director Hal Needham.)

Other characters in the movie are Fenderbaum (Sammy Davis Jr.) and Jamie Blake (Dean Martin). Both of them are drunks and decide that they should dress as priests to get out of tickets if they happen to get pulled over in their red Ferrari 308. Roger Moore also plays a character by the name of Seymour Goldfarb, Jr. He is obsessed with the James Bond character so much that he has done whatever possible to look and act like him. He then is mistaken as being George Hamilton (not in the movie) by one of his female counterparts that he picks up along the way. Terry Bradshaw, Mel Tillis, Jack Elam, Jamie Farr, Jackie Chan, Farrah Fawcett and Adrienne Barbeau all have major characters in this movie. There are also cameos by Peter Fonda and Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder.

Long story short, they all race across the country pulling pranks to slow each other down. The winner ends up being two women in a black Lamborghini Countach, which always bothered me. They left before J.J. and Victor, but by them punching the time clock first makes them the winner. J.J. is right behind her when she does it but he left after her, so if he punched his ticket, his time would have been faster!! Of course that would mess up the whole ending of the movie, so I guess I'll let it slide. The bloopers are great at the end of this movie as well, so if you ever watch it, make sure to watch it thru the credits. There was a Cannonball Run II in 1984, but it was no where near as good as the original, although it was Dean Martin's last movie before he died.

OK..............as a final note, I can quote this movie from beginning to end...........all 96 minutes of it. Now that's I've admitted how much of a freak I am, are there any questions?

......back to work we go *sigh*

So we're back from out trip to Ocean City, MD and we had a great time. It started off with lots of traffic on the NJ Turnpike. Some asshole got into an accident near Great Adventure (Six Flags) and caused 10 miles of this crap! Of course with us barely moving, Allie woke up and our friend Tara had to entertain her for over three hours in the car (thanks Tara!).


Once we got there it was really nice. Our condo was right on the beach.

We enjoyed watching Allie experience the beach for the first time.

We hung out at the bar, played cards, boogie boarded, and went to dinner on the boardwalk. We never did get to play golf.............Tropical Storm Alberto has other ideas for us the day we had it planned. I had to settle for mini golf the last day.

As always, it was way too short. Can we go back?

Hi-ho, Hi-ho.......

............it's off on vacation we go. *whistles*

So I won't be posting for a week or so while my wife and I take a vacation with our daughter and some friends. No we're not going to Wally World.............but we're going to Ocean City, MD. Never been before, so it should be cool. We rented some condo's with a great view of the ocean. Hopefully Allie will sleep most of the way down in the car. Gonna play golf for the first time in at least four years, so I'm going to suck royally. I'm gonna sound like this most of the time.

Anyway, enjoy your week and I'll hopefully have some good stories when I return.

Only because she's my wife........

OK, so my wife tagged me to do a "Three Favorite Things to Bring if you’re on a Deserted Island" type of post a week ago and she's been bugging me to do it. I'm not sure how I'm going to narrow it down on some of these, but here goes:

Books
OK, I don’t read. I get bored too easily. Can’t I just keep getting Motor Trend sent to me on this island? I guess I’ll just bring three books I can read to my daughter.

1. A Baker's Dozen by the One and Only Dr. Seuss
2. The Complete Tails of Winnie the Pooh
3. J.R.R. Tolkien – The Hobbit – She (and I) would have to read this before we were allowed to watch the LOTR Trilogy that my wife was bringing.

Movies
Now this is going to be tough…………………..I have so many movies that I love to watch (and quote), but which ones do I bring:

1. Cannonball Run (hence the name the blog) – I have to have my daughter understand what I’m talking about when I randomly quote this movie.
2. Star Wars (now I’m going to cheat and bring all six movies; so too bad)
3. The Godfather Trilogy – How could I not bring these movies?

Music
This also will be hard, because of my range in musical tastes. I think I’ll need a couple of different types so I can vary depending on my mood:

1. Led Zeppelin – Complete Studio Recordings (Ya gotta love box sets for situations like this). This set has every album that Zep ever released, plus “Hey, Hey What Can I do” as an added track on Coda.
2. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon – I figure there will be something to smoke on the island………..I mean hell, if I’m gonna be there forever, I’m gonna have fun!
3. The Very Best of Frank Sinatra – I mean really………..how do you say no to Frank?

People
Now from what I am told, I can’t take my wife or Allie as people I’d take because by default, they would be there. So who would I bring?

1. My mom. There’s no way she’d be able to live without seeing her grand-daughter ever again.
2. My friend Matt. He and I could build or fix anything. Not to mention we have been friends since elementary school and he was the best man at my wedding. That alone should be enough reason to bring him.
3. The third person is hard………….I couldn’t bring any of my four siblings. It’s either all or none. Plus some of them have kids and significant others. I wouldn’t take them away from their families. I guess I’d say “Captain Jack Sparrow” from "Pirates of the Caribbean". OK, ok………….I know he’s fake, but he seems to find the rum and a way off the damn island everytime!!

Tagging
I hate tagging people, because I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to do this. I know that if I say Point, his fiancee' Jennster will make him do it, so then I'll tag her too; also Issa's World. I'm never a fan of chain emails, letters or that kind of thing, so please, don't feel obligated to do it.