So my daughter Allie just turned 7 months old over the weekend and my wife and I have been talking about what to do about a baptism and religion for her. She and I are both Roman Catholic (we're Italian so it's like a law or something), but neither of us practice. We both basically feel that the church as a lot of issues and needs to get into the 21st century. Also, we know that just because someone goes to church for 45 minutes per week, does not make them a better person, or give them the right to be an ass the other 6 days, 23 hours and 15 minutes of the week. Jenn and I think that we have pretty good values (ok, ok..........everyone has made some mistakes), so why can't we just teach our daughter what we feel is right and what is wrong? I feel that Allie needs some sort of religious direction, but is that because I have been brain washed into it or what?
Some friends of ours are having their daughter baptized in a couple of weeks, for which I am the Godfather and am very honored and grateful. The first thing I'm going to teach her is never to take sides against the family.
Jenn and I are probably going to get her baptized, but beyond that, I don't know. I'd like to show her what we know and what we've been taught. From there, let her make her own decision when she's old enough as to whether she wants to continue with it. Both Jenn and I have talked numerous times about changing religions, but we can't agree on one, so here we stay...............for now.
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Very interesting post.
Even though I don't practice any religion right now I still think that all of my time spent at Hebrew school was important in making me the person that I am today.
I also agree that you can be a good, upstanding, moral person and have no religious affinity.
ULtimately I think that if a child is brought up practicing a certain religion when they are older they will decide if they want to continue to practice.
so hard for me because i'm not religious and didn't grow up in a religious household. basically, i think that being a religious person does not automatically make you a good person. i think that values and goodness and all the things you want to teach her, can be taught without religion or the church. personally, i feel like the church makes you feel guilty a lot and i hate that. lol
anyways, i know i'm no help, but good luck!!
Good points I myself am not very religious, but I was thankful that my mother had made me go through all the Catholic rituals until I was 18 so I had the option of getting married in a church if I wanted to and to baptize my children if I have any.
My daughter, now 12, has never been exposed to any practicing religion by either myself or my ex. I think we've done a pretty good job teaching her right from wrong, and she's a good kid.
yeah. i can totally see where you're coming from. i agree. going to church DOESNT make you better. although i do go to church almost every week lol. i made sure i married someone with the same thoughts as me so it was never an issue. we're baptist so we dont baptize the babies but we do dedicate them. hannah was 4 mos old. baptize allie if you want to. it couldn't hurt anyway! and you'll get a chance to dress her up all pretty :)
Well you kinda know how I feel, but I'll write it anyway....and then maybe I'll blog about it too. But I feel like why should we baptize her if we don't really believe in it or practice it? Sounds silly to me. It's just like getting married in a church just cause it's pretty....not cause it means something to you.
I have always been somewhat of a free spirit. I was not crazy about rules and thought people should do what they wanted. I just wanted them to want to do the right thing. However it seems some people need rules and some structure to do that. I did not want to baptize my daughter, thought it was not necessary. I was a good person and would instill my morals on her -to be good to other people etc. Life gets more and more busy and complicated and we can't always accomplish that as time goes on and the children get older. Plus they don't always listen to you at certain times in there life. I ended up baptising her and sending her to religious clases and youth group etc. and she grew up smart and knowledgable to make her own decisions, Allie should probably have the same opportunity. Your call though. By the way I did say Allie had her Father and Mothers great disposition and definitely your unbelievable smile.
Mom
How can you believe in it enough to accept being a godfather but not enough for your own daughter. It's kind of hypocritical, don't ya think.
Guess Who!
Come on now, we used recite the prayers together.
The church doesn't "make" you feel guilty -- it's you digging deep and believing what the church is saying and making yourself feel guilty.
I feel the Godfather thing is a respect thing and that they feel that I have good values. I guess that I'm not worthy of being my nephew's godfather then either since I'm such a horrible person for not going to church?
.......and the church doesn't try to make you feel like crap? Come on. No matter what you do, it's wrong. For example, if someone gets divorced, they are considered as breaking a unbreakable commandment and therfore are going to hell...........unless they convince the church that it was never a real marriage (which also includes paying them some money). Somehow that seems like bullshit. Also, does being a single mother make a person so bad? NO, but the church "frowns" upon it.
For people that supposedly never had sex, they have an awfully strong opinion on pre-marital sex.
Maybe they should be more concerned with all the kid touchers that "teach" what is right and what is wrong, than with how many times I get married!
If I recited prayers together with whoever you are (if this was in the past 10 years), I'm sure I was doing it sarcasticly.
This "Anonymous" post is making me not want to baptize my daughter.
I think this is an interesting topic, although I have no religious beliefs. Some of it is tradition though, and sometimes that is important to others. (like your mom). But since Allie is yours and Jenn's kid, it is up to you. If you do decide to do it, definelty need to see pictures. I have taught my kids Jewish prayers even though they have no idea what it really means.
Sorry to web stalk your family. I happened upon your wife's blog and it's so entertaining that I keep coming back.
Anyway, my useless two cents is that you should just go ahead and baptize her Catholic. I am also a lasped Catholic (the Irish variety) and I think being Catholic, like being Jewish, is also somewhat about the ethnicity and tradition. Give her that part of her heritage and when she grows up she can decide if it really means anything to her or not. Half the kids in my family are atheists now, the other half are still Catholic to one degree or another. And that's OK. Plus if she accepts it as her faith maybe she can join the groundswell of Catholics out there who would like to see the church loosen up.
Well thank you all for the comments. BTW, I found out that "Anonymous" was an ex-coworker trying to get me all worked up. I had a feeling it was her. I think Jenn and I are going to follow thru with the baptism, and let Allie decide what she wants to do when she gets older.
I do notice a trend of people not being very religious though. I guess my wife and I aren't the only ones sick of all religious BS that goes on.
I guess I’m a hypocrit too. I have very strong feelings AGAINST organized religion, yet I christened my daughter – and it was much more my idea than my husband’s. Chris and I didn’t agree with each other's "birth given" religion when we were getting married so we split the difference and found one that we agreed on but we don't practice at all.
Personally I feel I have a responsibility to give Sierra the opportunity to experience many things and let her pick and choose her interests. So while I don’t care much for church/religion in general, I’d prefer that Sierra make that choice on her own. Plus, no matter what I think of it, many people find strength and empowerment from their church or higher power. If my girl decides this is going to be an important part of her life, then so be it. I will look into putting her in classes when she’s a bit older but it won’t be mandatory if she decides it’s not for her.
For what it’s worth, I feel very strongly that many people who deal with guilt in their religion do so because they weren’t given any choices. You were born, you were -insert faith here- and you practiced, and you practiced, and you practiced….. I am guessing it worked out fine for many but it backfired miserably on others. Just my two cents is all…
Mike -- this is my 2-cents -- I would have her baptized -- then I would look at the churches in your area that are Roman Catholic or are recognized by the Church as legit (having valid sacraments -- Episcopalian, some Orthodox) -- talk to each and find the one that has the best program for children -- this will give her great socialization skills and give her the religious direction that you want for her -- it should also keep the Catholic relatives somewhat happy -- some of these programs for children are fantastic, with games, sports, and learning.
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